THE H-MAN

Dear gentle flock, this is my first review for the TRASH FILM ORGY Site. The word Orgy makes me feel so dirty, but excited as well. My name is Sister Mary Mind Suck. I would to begin my review by taking a quote from a wonderful song that my Sister in God, the singing Nun covers on one of her divinely inspired albums. "When will they ever learn, when will they ever learn?"

I just finished watching a truly incredible film called the H-MAN. Made in 1959 and directed by none other than Inoshiro Honda, yes, the Japanese GOD-HEAD, who brought the world Godzilla. This is a totally different type of movie from his more famous monster movies. It makes a powerful statement about our impact on the earth and the dangers of radiation experiments and is highly charecter and story driven. I found it truly entertaining, and a definite must for those of you who may be wondering what happens in Japan, when they are not under attack from that loveable but destructive, large Fire-breathing 'zilla. I was really impressed by the opening shot which shows actual H-bomb footage, that appears to be Japanese and not American, this is rarely seen, and therefore a great surprise. The gist of the story is that a ghost ship washes up into Tokyo Bay where out at sea it has come across a radioactive goo-like substance caused by an H-Bomb test conducted at one of the islands. this radioactive goo-with intelligence, of course needs people to absorb in order to survive and propagate, and causes anyone who comes into contact with it to dissolve into puddles of water and become more H-MEN, leaving only their clothes behind. The effects are really good, and are highly reminiscent of John Carpenter's "The Fog", which came out 20 years later. As for the Goo effects, they are as good as any you will find in Jim "Fucking King of the World" Cameron's mess, "The Abyss".

It is dubbed, but in that fabulous Japanese way, where the voices never sound like what should actually be coming out of the actors' mouths especially during the song and dance numbers. YES! I said song and dance numbers.

So back to what they do in Japan in 1959, for one thing they spend a lot of time in Cabarets, which feature bikini-clad Japanese favor girls, doing their best Ann-Margaret dance moves. Truly hilarious. Of course no monster movie would be complete without our damsel in distress, Chitako who is the star of the cabaret show and dazzles us with her Julie London -like, singing voice. The story centers around her missing boyfriend Misaki. A hoodlum drug dealer in Tokyo, who mysteriously dissapears after going down into the sewers to collect his heroin. The cops think he is in hiding and do everything in their power to find him. Which mainly consists of following poor Chitako day and night, and interrogating her endlessly. Adding to poor Chitako's problems are the drug lords who are also after Misaki. Her only friend in the world appears to be Dr. Masada, who has figured out the secret of the H-Man, and tries to convince the police to believe him. Which of course they do not. UNTIL IT IS ALMOST TOO LATE. Insert scream here, and picture tens of Japanese fleeing Tokyo.

This movie borrows a lot from the American sci-fi movies, of the same time period. One will definitely see resemblences to "The Blob and the original "The Thing" and the overall message is completely taken from the message in the classic "The day the earth stood still" However there are some truly great Japanisms, in this movie. One stand out is the fact that all the police officers remove their shoes before entering the home of their missing drug dealer suspect. I found that very amusing. Also to look as hip as possible everybody smokes. OH, the good old days...Makes me hearken back to a better more gentle time, when radioactive goo, washed into Tokyo Bay. As for the musical score of the film, for some reason they opted not for any sort of SCI-FI, sounding music, but rather for a marching band type of score. This surprised me, but in a fun sort of John Phillip Souza, disaster march way.

I really liked the way that the scientists not the cops are the heroes of this film and the girl ends up with the egghead in the end. It is also worth mentioning that there is more than one story at work here, one dealing with pretty vicious drug-lords and the H-man, problem. The writer of the movie, Takeshi Kimura, does a great job of interweaving the tales. It is also very important to mention that there are some wonderful scenes involving frog experimentation, not to be missed.
From the James Cagney impression of one of the cops' dubbed over voices to fact that the scientists use geiger-counters to check for radioactivity, while not wearing any other protective gear, the bikini dance numbers and glowing green goo-men walking the sewers, I would have to say that "The H-MAN", rates 4 out of 5 praying hands.
If you get a chance to watch this movie, by all means do so. It well worth adding to any true Japanese Sci-fi lover's, movie collection.
Until Next Time, Gentle Flock, this is Sister Mary-Mind-Suck.