HOLLYWOOD CHAINSAW HOOKERS

Oh my god! This movie has everything you could ever want! A cheesy private dick voice over? Yes. Full frontal nudity? Yes! Spurting gore and chainsaw massacres? YES! Brainwashed prostitutes with a wicked Elvis fetish and an appetite for motor oil? HELL YES! And all that in just an hour's time so your forearm isn't even tired! It’s a solid trash package.
We are taken from the sordid bars of Hollywood into the occult world of chainsaw worshipping hookers, as our hero methodically unravels a series of brutal chainsaw murders. It’s a beautiful tale that shows how the power of love can conquer all, even the mindcontrol of bearded men in black robes, and how a good dick can always find his way out of the stickiest spots.
The complexity of the plot is compounded by the difficulty in villainizing the hookers. After all, they are only chopping up truckers and perverts who pick up bar whores. And they do show compassion for their victims, by, say, offering them a shower cap to protect their coif from their own raining blood.
For all you little boys who want to grow up to be alpha male, this is your ticket. Nothing is more manly than power tools, naked chicks, Elvis, and freaky cults. As reigning alpha male I highly recommend this film, especially if you love those movies where bikini-clad chicks shoot automatic weapons at fruit.

-Chum-Chode Chad